The bank and I exchanged a few more emails today. I managed to stay civil and they managed to offer the standard replies of assurance and empathy without actually doing anything. The employees of US-First Bank, particularly the officers and supervisors, have mastered this condescending bank-speak that is really quite an art of noncommunication and passive aggression, a tone that makes an ordinary wage earner feel like an untouchable groveling on the banks of the Ganges. It's really quite deft how they do it. You wind up apologizing for having a problem in the hope they might actually try to solve it. As of a few minutes ago I am -$283 by the bank's count, and unfortunately that is the only count that matters.
I am finding that as I share this tale of woe with friends and readers we all have bank horror stories and cautionary tales like this one. The bottom line is the Bank doesn't care and doesn't have to: we all need a place to keep our money and transfer it from one venue to another, from paycheck to payment, and they charge the fees because they can, and take their sweet time about correcting errors and inequities because the consumer has no recourse except to take their money down to another bank with equally draconian methods and injustices. They all do things like subtracting the debits immediately but holding the deposit until after the debits are deducted, thus generating mountains of lucrative fees and those terse notices they love to send out. It's pretty terrifying to be in their clutches. Friends of the Blog Marie and Stephanie and Brad and Gretchen have all offered kind words and helpful advice. I'm finding a lot of people have turned to Credit Unions like ON Point and Oregon Community, where the standards of customer service seem to be higher. I think one of the reasons banks encourage you to use services like automatic payments and direct payroll deposit is to lock you in and make it more difficult to escape. I'm one of those people that hates filling out forms, so I'll put up with a lot just to avoid new paperwork.
There is no "satisfaction guaranteed or your money back" in the banking industry. The actual guarantee is more like, "you just think it's your money. We'll tell you how much you get to keep." I'm rapidly becoming the bitter old man I vowed never to be. If I start wearing my pants halfway to my chest, please shoot me.
On a happier note, I had another nice phone conversation with Marie today, and we may go for a workout and a bite to eat tomorrow. It was an easy day at work, and I finished 50th and 31st in two poker tournaments and made a few more dollars. The money doesn't get good until you make the final table, but finishing that often in the money in a field of 1000-1300 players shows you are on the right track. You have to make enough good decisions to give yourself a chance to get lucky. The nights you make the key double up and put a stack together you make the good paydays. The other times you just try to stay alive as long as you can and make as many good moves as you can, observing the other players and basing your decisions and risks on the best information you can. I love poker. It's a very engaging pastime. And one of these nights, it's going to win me back the girl in the red dress. You just wait and see.
This weekend, I'm tending bar again for the cowboys and their dates, and that will be fun, and put some money in my pocket the bank won't have a chance to steal. The weekend after that will be the Newton family road trip to the Duck-Husky football game, and I'm really looking forward to that, and the following week is Labor Day and another three-day liberty. There are so many occasions and possibilities that no amount of bad banking can ruin.
Tonight on Pandora.com I listened to a channel I created featuring the music of artists like Alison Krauss, Bonnie Raitt, Van Morrison and Donna Hughes. The service also added tunes by Neil Young, Norah Jones, The Dixie Chicks, Jackson Brown and Emmy Lou Harris, soaring voices and melodies, beautiful instrumentation, music to lift the soul and inspire the heart and clear the head. It was an incredible joy to have this accompaniment, to allow these remarkable artists to inform the space I occupied with their work. Right now pandora is playing "Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor. And that's as good a lullaby as anyone could ever sing. I hope your day finds music as rich to hear, and as hopeful.
Dad--
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that you went to the Duck/Husky game....I thought you were only a couch Duckie. Have fun at your game. Tom actually comes home on the 2th so maybe we will watch it on TV and look for you. He is a big Husky fan, and as you know I think the Ducks are evil and therefore we will both be cheering for the Purple and gold (or is it yellow I'm not quite sure)
Me
Steff--
ReplyDeleteTom has proven himself to be the perfect son-in-law in every other way. He is tender, kind, faithful, engaging and funny, a wonderful father and considerate husband. But now that you have revealed this inexcusable and fatal flaw, the fact that he is a Husky fan, I'm afraid I will have to cut him out of my will. Fortunately for him I am too ornery to die for another 40 years, so he has a reasonable amount of time to amend his reprehensible purple and gold ways, and thus be restored to my good graces.
It is an unending sorrow to me that I am surrounded by unbelievers. My smart funny and beautiful daughter is a Beaver fan, my noble, brave, tender son-in-law is a Husky, my funny, wise best friend is a dammed Beaver, my favorite brother is a Husky alumnus. Just today I found out Friend of the Blog Brad is 1990 graduate of USC, the academy of football excellence and eggregious cheating. It is the great curse of my life that I am such a tolerant man and thus condemned to love such a motley crew of fallen souls.
Love,
Dad