On Monday Marie sent me and email and asked if she could come live with me again. For all my proud posturing and stubborn phone stuffing, these were the words I was dying to hear. The world was instantly lighter and more promising. A weight left my chest. I felt more human and more alive. Just having her tell me she still cared, still wanted me, hoped for the same things I hoped for, it shattered a hard shell of gloom around me, far more oppressive than I realized. I'd been in denial, trying to say it didn't matter and didn't hurt.
Tuesday she came over and we went to the gym together, then to $2.50 all-you-can-eat taco night at McGillicudies. She had a Budweiser lime and I had a Mirror Pond Pale Ale. We walked over from my place, and just talking and walking over there, holding her hand under the orange harvest moon, it felt like the most perfect vacation, a trip to Italy and Disneyland all in one. We came home and made love in the brown thinking and reading chair I bought at a garage sale for $20, and her being mine and me being hers, it was just perfect.
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I look around the world we're living in, and have to wonder. Surely there has always been trouble and uncertainty, good news and bad, but the signs and portents seem stronger than ever these days. Hurricane Ike. The collapse of the financial markets, Shearson Lehman, AIG, Washington Mutual, empires crumbling. Tent cities springing up in Reno, Seattle and Portland. Millions losing their homes to foreclosure. Korea, Pakistan and Iran actively developing nuclear weapons. I am not a prophet or a politician, not a wise man, not an expert. But the difficulties, the calamities and the disasters seem to be mounting. You have to wonder what it means, and who's in control, and where it will end. It's not a good time to be alone. It's not a good time to faithless, purposeless, glib or unaware. It's more than just a bad news cycle or a rough hurricane season. It's a time to ask what's important. It's a time to be prepared. It's a time to keep close to your family and friends, and keep watch. Trouble is coming. Faith, love, friendship and family are more important than ever.
The end of this month, we are going to be reunited as man and wife. We haven't worked out all the details, but I have never been surer of any decision, and I have never been happier. I may not be blogging much for the next several months, although I'll try to check in.
I certainly do hope things do turn out for you and Marie and sincerely want you to be happy. I have missed your blog even the parts I skip.
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