Today I wish I was rich, so I could buy a gold-plated shotgun and shoot the alarm clock and go back to bed. I'm a night owl by nature, as the FOBs know. If I were a rich man I would stay up until 3 every night and sleep till 10:30 and never again set an alarm clock. Sometimes that beep beep beep feels like the cruelest and most unwelcome sound in the world. I threw on my clothes, remembering I'd vowed to ride to work and needed to leave right away to allow enough time. Forgive me, Brad, I'm going to buy some fossil fuel and hit the snooze bar. I am a weak and immoral man.
Stephanie called me last night and we talked a minute. It was good to hear her voice. The child is always overflowing with enthusiasm and intensity, and I love that about her. Tonight she wanted fantasy football advice, whether to start Marvin Lewis or the running back from the Jets, and I told her the Jets, because Lewis is dinged up and the presence of Favre and the threat of the deep ball should open up things for the Jets' running game. You have to love a daughter who calls for fantasy football advice, though I don't play it myself. I can only afford so many obsessions--I'd be up till five and wind up bludgeoning the alarm clock with a shoe. Please understand, I'm not ordinarily a violent man. But I really hate the alarm clock and its incessant beeping tyranny, its call to duties I don't want to accept. I wish I were rich. I'd fire it in a New York Jet minute.
In many ways I am. Last night I had dinner with the lovely Marie Annette George, and five minutes of watching her do situps is a feast and a banquet and a transport to paradise, and five or more of her kisses are a tropical vacation and a Broadway show. We worked out and had dinner from the dollar menu at Wendy's and I felt like the luckiest man on earth, and she promised in the next few days to come and sleep with me. I have to play like a fiend and win a big jackpot, because I want her to sleep with me every night. When I make that happen, I will truly be rich, because no man could want anything more after that.
Got to go to work. The snooze bar says so, and I have to stop at the AM-PM to buy gas. Conroy-Debrie are playing at a Taste of Wine Friday and Saturday from 7:00-10:00. Doug and I might go and bring our lovely brides, and stop somewhere afterward for a chicken fried steak and two more hours of PAC-10 football talk. What a glorious night that would be. Maybe Brad and Thomas and Stephanie will fly into town, and make it a night worthy of the Oscars or the ESPYs, a gala and magical event. We'll feel like the two lovebirds on the bow of the Titanic, kings of the world. A bottle of good wine and a table of friends is all you need to be truly rich, particularly if you are going home afterward with the girl who exceeds all your dreams.
Dad--
ReplyDeleteWe took your advice but if the Jets don't pan out we are blaming it all on you....This week we are up against Tom's Dad. He is already up on us by two points after the Thursday opener. But we will prevail. We went with the wildcard Rodgers for QB we figured it's his time to shine so he will put on a good show. At least he better. I want it known now that I want in on next years football game with the uncles. I will even bargin with you and cheer for the Ducks for one game and I repeat one game only. Just don't tell my hubby cuz it would break his heart to not have me cheer for his Huskies. And as for the Civil War I am with Doug your team has not had good luck lately and I believe this year won't be any different. Remember no fight song for you. Miss you, and next time I come to town if Tom's is with me we must do Chang's, if not then we must do Chang's. He is leaving again in about a week for the United Nations Summit in NYC. Doesn't he just sound so official? We have a date tomorrow, a friend of ours is watching the kids and our new puppy. We are going to the Olive Garden for never ending pasta, and maybe a movie. It's only my fifth outing from baby so we'll have to see how long I can manage away, he's so cute (both the baby and the hubby for the record).
Me
PS --- Brad -- USC cheats.....hehe
PSS -- Uncle Mike you came to town and did not call or write, I am beginning to think I am no longer your favorite niece, and we all know that can't be true. Just cuz you are so cool down in Cali now doesn't mean you can just forget me. I have spawned more kids now and I will send them after you.
Steff, steff, steff--
ReplyDeleteIt is always great to hear from you and I love the fact this little blog has become a community where the FOBs are sending shoutouts to each other. I live about 10 blocks from Changs and I'm ready for a meal there in the time it takes me to put on my shoes and bike helmet. Any time any of you are in the neighborhood, let me know. I love the food there, although you always make yours wrong (hee hee).
You are smart funny and beautiful. Enjoy your date with the dapper and articulate Mr. Applegate. How are Kourtney and EJ doing? I think I'm going to come up the end of the month, swing by Pullman for the Duck-Cougar game and kiss the kissy cheeks on that chunker baby boy. I miss the little poop machine.
Take care and good luck. I think you made a mistake with Rodgers--I don't think he's quite ready to fill Favre's shoes.
Love, Dad