I'm rapidly becoming the old man I vowed never to be. When I wake up in the morning I take a silent inventory of what hurts. My back. My shoulder. My hip. I clear my throat with that same disgusting suck of snot my father used to do. I'm cranky and irritable. I'd just as soon go back to sleep.
Even into my forties I was an athlete. I played a 150 games of softball a summer and when I stopped doing that I practiced golf four hours a day. Although you'd never tell from the current state of my game. I ran. I lifted weights. I felt a dozen years younger than my age.
Yesterday we went out to the nine-hole pasture where we play our casual rounds, and everything hurt. It hurt to sit or stand or swing a club. I left a four-foot putt an inch short. My chips skittered short of the green. I made 34, a decent score for my skill level, but didn't enjoy a single moment. My mindset sucked. The other day at work I had chest pains and a stabbing pain on the right side of my face. I called my wife at lunch and she urged me to go to the doctor. I told I couldn't, because I'd get an occurence for leaving shift. My boss is a peach of a guy. We take 2000 calls a month, many of them from cranks and abusers and fools. When he does our monthly evaluation he pulls out our very worst customer survey of the month, and bases his evaluation on that. He's a head hunter, a despot, a fat man with tiny hands and a small mind. I'd like to choke him. I'd go real slow.
I should go to the gym and stretch my aches and wounds, but I'm going to go to bed and start this day over. This time I'll try to wake up on the right side of the bed. I'll have a little dish of ice cream and flip off a cop on the way to work. Maybe he'll shoot me.
Don't mind me, I'm only kidding. After all I'm just a grumpy old man. I have four days off starting tomorrow. Maybe I'll go hiking and clear my head.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
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This is the Way the Transformation Begins
"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw, Robert F. Kennedy
This is the way the transformation begins.
It begins in me.
It begins now.
It begins with small incremental changes and shifts in attitude
it begins with positive action
failing forward
and suddenly I start looking at the world and my place in it in a new way. I speak differently and dress differently and project a different energy, and the world opens up like a glorious pink azalea bush, eight feet tall and blooming like mad.
photo by Kajo123 from the website flickr.com
Good morning!
An engineer builds a bridge and every bolt and weld has to be exactly right; every measure has to be perfect, or the bridge collapses or fails to take its place. Fantastically detailed blueprints have to be laid out. Impact statements have to be filed, sediment has to be studied, years of effort, months of planning, and a man-made marvel rises in the sky. Park somewhere and take a good look at a bridge, and think of all the skill and knowledge and hard honest work it took to create it. Consider how a few thousand years ago we were living in caves.
It is not so with a dream. Some people are remarkable dreamers and dreams spring whole from them, or they can leap up from bed and pages of creative genius flow out of their pen, intricate and perfect. Most of us though are baby dreamers, new at it and tentative to the trust the power of what we wish for.
Start the dream! Whether you want to go to nursing school or college or learn to play the guitar, take a first step, now, even in the wrong direction. Don't wait for the blueprint to come to you, the environmental impact statement, the permits and the 200-page budget and legislative dream approval. Rough it out, sketch it on a napkin, tell a friend, and take action. Your dream begins the moment you step out in first moment of believing, and the result can touch a thousand souls. Listen to Jim Valvano: never give up, never surrender. Believe in the audacity of action and your fantastic potential for change and new opportunity.
It is not so with a dream. Some people are remarkable dreamers and dreams spring whole from them, or they can leap up from bed and pages of creative genius flow out of their pen, intricate and perfect. Most of us though are baby dreamers, new at it and tentative to the trust the power of what we wish for.
Start the dream! Whether you want to go to nursing school or college or learn to play the guitar, take a first step, now, even in the wrong direction. Don't wait for the blueprint to come to you, the environmental impact statement, the permits and the 200-page budget and legislative dream approval. Rough it out, sketch it on a napkin, tell a friend, and take action. Your dream begins the moment you step out in first moment of believing, and the result can touch a thousand souls. Listen to Jim Valvano: never give up, never surrender. Believe in the audacity of action and your fantastic potential for change and new opportunity.
The Hawthorne Bridge at sunrise, Portland Oregon. Photo by Joe Collver, from flickr.com
Genuine happiness and success start with an attitude of abundance
Make it a daily practice to begin your day with five minutes of thankfulness. You can even do it in your car on the way to work. Do it in your own way, whether it's thoughtful reflection or a prayer or singing out loud, but focus on your rich, amazing, abundant life.
Feeling grumpy or resentful or worried instead of thankful? Change direction! Consider the incredible gifts you have--mind, body, spirit, senses, your family, your friends, your clothes, your car, and the breakfast you enjoyed this morning. By the standards of 99% of the world, Americans are incredibly, amazingly rich. You truly have no idea how richly blessed you are until you start thinking about it. Even the heart that beats within you and the lungs that breathe your air are an intricate and amazing miracle.
Some of my favorite movies are ones that feature a once-defeated character waking up to an absolutely new day: "It's A Wonderful Life," the various versions of Dicken's "Christmas Carol" and "Groundhog Day." How exhilarating it is for George Bailey to wake up and realize his life isn't over, it's just beginning, and that today truly is a brand new day.
"It's a Wonderful Life"
George returns home to everything he ever wanted.
1 comment:
Dad--
Don't make me start calling you prune head! But I'm glad to see you blogging again, didn't like the hiatus.
So update on the Applegate house....
Tom's good, been really busy, he can't tell me much but busy I know. He's pretty tired but liking all the love boxes me and the kids send him. We are looking forward to our trip to Italy next year when he gets back. Ethan is also good. Huge but good. He's been busy lately. Mary, our nanny, is almost done. She leaves next week. I've been trying to prepare him but so far I don't think he gets it. I might have to tell him she went on a trip because he understands that. After all Dad is on a trip. Two of the guys that were my fake sons are coming back for their R & R's soon so it will be nice for all of us to see them. Ethan was close to Uncle Reid and Long so it might get his mind off some stuff. Kourt is dancing. Lizzie is doing good too developing a schedule now.
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