Stephanie loved The Bangles when she was little. I remember her dancing goofy to "Walk Like an Egyptian." God she was a cute kid. I am so proud of her, except for ultimate horror that she grew up a Beaver fan.
I woke up late this morning. My alarm didn't go off, and I finally woke up in a panic at 6:50, too late to catch my normal train. I threw on my clothes, doubled-timed it to the station and caught the 7:05, which got me to Mt. Hood station by 7:20. I left an old pullover on the train because I didn't want to be weighed down with it, and starting running when I stepped off the car, cutting through the dew-soaked field and through the golf course, running most of the way in my slacks and polo shirt, anxiously checking the clock on my cell phone as I went. I slowed to a walk in a few spots to catch my breath, and I made it to work with seven minutes to spare. Luckily I had some dry clothes in my filing cabinet. I didn't want to get an "occurrence" as they are called, on the day I announced I wasn't relocating to Oak Harbor. My supervisors were understanding and wished me luck. A lot of the staff is struggling with the decision. They have spouses and parents, and children in school. Some are tied down by their house in a down market, or their spouse's job, or an affection for the Portland area. Portland is a wonderful town, a town where people build lives and memories, and it is beautiful here. One of the glories of Portland is that it is a couple hours drive from almost anything, the beach, the desert, the mountains, farmland or good Chinese food. People love it here, and you get used to the rain. I hardly notice it except on the heaviest days, and I have a 45 minute walk to work.
I'm having the worst luck at the poker tables right now. Tonight I lost an 11,000 pot with pocket aces versus an ace and a jack. My opponent called me all in with a pair of jacks on the flop. I baited him with a small bet, he raised me for information and I raised him all in, a perfect read, but he turned another jack, a two card out. I'd been playing with great discipline and waited for the perfect opportunity, but the cards just didn't go my way. Jacks haunt me these days. The other day I flopped a set of tens and got an opponent all in with king-jack, a pair of jacks, and he turned a king and rivered another jack for a full house over my full house, a ghastly perfect two-card runner for 5900 chips. It's awful to lose that way. It feels like having three smart, funny, beautiful daughters, and having them all turn out to be Beaver fans, and raising their adorable children to be Beaver fans too. I sing Ethan the Duck fight song on the sly whenever I can, but I really don't have a chance. His mother nurses him and fills his ear with Beaver nonsense, and how can I compete with that? Sometimes you have to accept small losses, no matter how crushing. Sometimes it's impossible to win.
Marie and I did get our tax stimulus check tonight, and I gave Richard my 30-day notice. Part of keeping your word, although we could have used the extra $422. Marie thinks she's found a decent place in Raleigh Hills near the Fred Meyers. I told her as long as she was happy with it, I would agree.
I think I'll go to bed early tonight. I had the last of my leftover Thanksgiving turkey for supper, and I feel like curling up in a warm bed after a wet walk home. I'm pleased I didn't waste any of my leftovers; I hate it when food gets wasted. It's almost a crime against humanity to waste food, or to not appreciate the enormous blessing good, plentiful food really is. It's the small things we forget. We fail to realize they are not small at all.
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This is the Way the Transformation Begins
"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw, Robert F. Kennedy
This is the way the transformation begins.
It begins in me.
It begins now.
It begins with small incremental changes and shifts in attitude
it begins with positive action
failing forward
and suddenly I start looking at the world and my place in it in a new way. I speak differently and dress differently and project a different energy, and the world opens up like a glorious pink azalea bush, eight feet tall and blooming like mad.
photo by Kajo123 from the website flickr.com
Good morning!
An engineer builds a bridge and every bolt and weld has to be exactly right; every measure has to be perfect, or the bridge collapses or fails to take its place. Fantastically detailed blueprints have to be laid out. Impact statements have to be filed, sediment has to be studied, years of effort, months of planning, and a man-made marvel rises in the sky. Park somewhere and take a good look at a bridge, and think of all the skill and knowledge and hard honest work it took to create it. Consider how a few thousand years ago we were living in caves.
It is not so with a dream. Some people are remarkable dreamers and dreams spring whole from them, or they can leap up from bed and pages of creative genius flow out of their pen, intricate and perfect. Most of us though are baby dreamers, new at it and tentative to the trust the power of what we wish for.
Start the dream! Whether you want to go to nursing school or college or learn to play the guitar, take a first step, now, even in the wrong direction. Don't wait for the blueprint to come to you, the environmental impact statement, the permits and the 200-page budget and legislative dream approval. Rough it out, sketch it on a napkin, tell a friend, and take action. Your dream begins the moment you step out in first moment of believing, and the result can touch a thousand souls. Listen to Jim Valvano: never give up, never surrender. Believe in the audacity of action and your fantastic potential for change and new opportunity.
It is not so with a dream. Some people are remarkable dreamers and dreams spring whole from them, or they can leap up from bed and pages of creative genius flow out of their pen, intricate and perfect. Most of us though are baby dreamers, new at it and tentative to the trust the power of what we wish for.
Start the dream! Whether you want to go to nursing school or college or learn to play the guitar, take a first step, now, even in the wrong direction. Don't wait for the blueprint to come to you, the environmental impact statement, the permits and the 200-page budget and legislative dream approval. Rough it out, sketch it on a napkin, tell a friend, and take action. Your dream begins the moment you step out in first moment of believing, and the result can touch a thousand souls. Listen to Jim Valvano: never give up, never surrender. Believe in the audacity of action and your fantastic potential for change and new opportunity.
The Hawthorne Bridge at sunrise, Portland Oregon. Photo by Joe Collver, from flickr.com
Genuine happiness and success start with an attitude of abundance
Make it a daily practice to begin your day with five minutes of thankfulness. You can even do it in your car on the way to work. Do it in your own way, whether it's thoughtful reflection or a prayer or singing out loud, but focus on your rich, amazing, abundant life.
Feeling grumpy or resentful or worried instead of thankful? Change direction! Consider the incredible gifts you have--mind, body, spirit, senses, your family, your friends, your clothes, your car, and the breakfast you enjoyed this morning. By the standards of 99% of the world, Americans are incredibly, amazingly rich. You truly have no idea how richly blessed you are until you start thinking about it. Even the heart that beats within you and the lungs that breathe your air are an intricate and amazing miracle.
Some of my favorite movies are ones that feature a once-defeated character waking up to an absolutely new day: "It's A Wonderful Life," the various versions of Dicken's "Christmas Carol" and "Groundhog Day." How exhilarating it is for George Bailey to wake up and realize his life isn't over, it's just beginning, and that today truly is a brand new day.
"It's a Wonderful Life"
George returns home to everything he ever wanted.
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