Didn't do much this morning. Slept in, watched Sports Center, ate too many Starbursts, played internet chess. Kobe's legacy is safe for now; Lebron's is in doubt. His coach got fired and his elbow is swollen and he's rumored to be on his way out of town for the big money. Don't give a damn for either one of them. The NBA bores me to tears. Starbursts, on the other hand, are the true answer to the one-food-stranded-on-a-desert-island question. Cherry Pez doesn't come close. Stephen King was dead wrong in Stand By Me, although the Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me are movie contenders for the same kind of question.
Didn't work out or play poker. Not feeling inspired or connected or engaged. I think I have sleep apnea. I wake up with a really dry plaque-y mouth and the longer I sleep the more tired I feel. Ron Ingersoll broke my nose in a pickup basketball at Malibu in the summer before my senior year. It didn't heal straight; you can still see the crook, and ever since one nostril is virtually useless. It turns sleep into a series of near-suffocations. They can fix that kind of thing but I think it involves a big mallet and a huge bandage on the middle of the face, and I'm not sure if I'm up for that. I'd rather do nothing and complain about it. This is the surest sign of growing old: I am storing up laments for the lawn chairs at the Old Folks Home. Yet I can't see myself in one of those places, with the scent of stale urine and impending death permeating the air. I'd rather die stubborn and drive too fast, anything but that miserable surrender of just living from meal to meal.
I've got to walk to work in a couple of hours; that will be my sole accomplishment for the day. A day of nothing momentous and not much effort--it's okay to have one of those once in a while, particularly on a Monday, but the danger is it can become a way of life, of resigning and smothering all your ambition with the soft pillow of the status quo. Much better to go out with out a hoo-ah bang, make up a story and stick to it like Al Pacino in Scent of A Woman. Drive blind if you have to and be outrageous. It's far better than smoking yourself to death in your chair. Talk your way into the Red Ferrari, flatter the repressed history teacher with anecdotes of LBJ. It's way better than peddling sugar for the rest of your life. Find the fire under the dress. Life is cold ashes without it.
Monday, May 24, 2010
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This is the Way the Transformation Begins
"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw, Robert F. Kennedy
This is the way the transformation begins.
It begins in me.
It begins now.
It begins with small incremental changes and shifts in attitude
it begins with positive action
failing forward
and suddenly I start looking at the world and my place in it in a new way. I speak differently and dress differently and project a different energy, and the world opens up like a glorious pink azalea bush, eight feet tall and blooming like mad.
photo by Kajo123 from the website flickr.com
Good morning!
An engineer builds a bridge and every bolt and weld has to be exactly right; every measure has to be perfect, or the bridge collapses or fails to take its place. Fantastically detailed blueprints have to be laid out. Impact statements have to be filed, sediment has to be studied, years of effort, months of planning, and a man-made marvel rises in the sky. Park somewhere and take a good look at a bridge, and think of all the skill and knowledge and hard honest work it took to create it. Consider how a few thousand years ago we were living in caves.
It is not so with a dream. Some people are remarkable dreamers and dreams spring whole from them, or they can leap up from bed and pages of creative genius flow out of their pen, intricate and perfect. Most of us though are baby dreamers, new at it and tentative to the trust the power of what we wish for.
Start the dream! Whether you want to go to nursing school or college or learn to play the guitar, take a first step, now, even in the wrong direction. Don't wait for the blueprint to come to you, the environmental impact statement, the permits and the 200-page budget and legislative dream approval. Rough it out, sketch it on a napkin, tell a friend, and take action. Your dream begins the moment you step out in first moment of believing, and the result can touch a thousand souls. Listen to Jim Valvano: never give up, never surrender. Believe in the audacity of action and your fantastic potential for change and new opportunity.
It is not so with a dream. Some people are remarkable dreamers and dreams spring whole from them, or they can leap up from bed and pages of creative genius flow out of their pen, intricate and perfect. Most of us though are baby dreamers, new at it and tentative to the trust the power of what we wish for.
Start the dream! Whether you want to go to nursing school or college or learn to play the guitar, take a first step, now, even in the wrong direction. Don't wait for the blueprint to come to you, the environmental impact statement, the permits and the 200-page budget and legislative dream approval. Rough it out, sketch it on a napkin, tell a friend, and take action. Your dream begins the moment you step out in first moment of believing, and the result can touch a thousand souls. Listen to Jim Valvano: never give up, never surrender. Believe in the audacity of action and your fantastic potential for change and new opportunity.
The Hawthorne Bridge at sunrise, Portland Oregon. Photo by Joe Collver, from flickr.com
Genuine happiness and success start with an attitude of abundance
Make it a daily practice to begin your day with five minutes of thankfulness. You can even do it in your car on the way to work. Do it in your own way, whether it's thoughtful reflection or a prayer or singing out loud, but focus on your rich, amazing, abundant life.
Feeling grumpy or resentful or worried instead of thankful? Change direction! Consider the incredible gifts you have--mind, body, spirit, senses, your family, your friends, your clothes, your car, and the breakfast you enjoyed this morning. By the standards of 99% of the world, Americans are incredibly, amazingly rich. You truly have no idea how richly blessed you are until you start thinking about it. Even the heart that beats within you and the lungs that breathe your air are an intricate and amazing miracle.
Some of my favorite movies are ones that feature a once-defeated character waking up to an absolutely new day: "It's A Wonderful Life," the various versions of Dicken's "Christmas Carol" and "Groundhog Day." How exhilarating it is for George Bailey to wake up and realize his life isn't over, it's just beginning, and that today truly is a brand new day.
"It's a Wonderful Life"
George returns home to everything he ever wanted.
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