Dry Socks and Unexpected Kindness: we're richer than we think

The most useless thing we can do is to worry about what might happen or how bad things might get. What if I lose my job, my car, my house? What if my wife leaves me or the kids get sick? Any of those things, or all of them, can happen. When or if they do, you deal with it. You move on. You do the next thing.

Things are uncertain and the news is full of portents. The treasury has a hot shot graduate from the Wharton school of business, a 35-year-old wunderkind with a background in aerospace engineering before he got his MBA. "It's the same thing, really," he told the Associated Press, "It's all about problem solving and stabilizing a system." He used to work on giant telescopes, devising systems to keep them in focus. Today Great Britain nationalized several banks and the Dow plunged below 9000, its lowest level in five years, losing over 600 points in a single day. The nation's retirement accounts have lost over two trillion dollars in value. Retail sales are plunging. Ford Motor Company is on a credit watch.

I haven't lost my job yet, and my credit card companies haven't called or written to demand all their money. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. This is all beyond my understanding. I've seen the photographs at the beginning of "Seabiscuit", the breadlines and the forlorn faces. I remember history class, and a five-year period when no one could find work. I have no idea what it all really means, or how bad it could be. But it doesn't sound good.

At my job this time of the month they send out collection notices and past due account warnings, and there are far more of them than usual, and the voices on the phone are noticeably more tense, more pleading. Some of them are quick to anger over suspensions or restart fees. I understand their difficulty but I have to follow the rules: past 89 days, account suspended, $12 fee to restart--$35 in Beaverton. It stinks. It's hard for everyone. But that's the way it is. I have to be careful. All of our calls are recorded and any one could be monitored for quality, and I don't want to offend anyone. But I can't sugarcoat it either. I have to charge the fee.

In the past I've talked harshly about my job, spoken in not very mature or appreciative terms about it. I've always bristled at authority and been my own worst enemy that way. Last Friday though, my boss did a very nice thing for me. I'd ridden my bike to work that day and it broke down on the way. I had to park it by the side of the road and walk. (Another lesson: although it pays to economize, it never pays to buy cheap. Quality pays for itself and sometimes a bargain never stops costing you money.) It was a mile and half or so further to work and I was 20 minutes late, missing the morning meeting. I emailed her around 10 and told her I needed to retrace my route at lunch and retrieve the bike, and I didn't know quite how long it would take to do it. She emailed me back and said, no problem, I'll give you a ride. And my boss took time out of her lunch break, her 35 minute lunch break, to help me retrieve my broken bike. I haven't had good luck with bikes this year, but it's another area where I haven't made good decisions.

I've badmouthed the company a dozen times, often without much justification, but for her to do that, on her own time and without me asking, was a remarkable kindness, a remarkable, personal effort. I got the chain unjammed and made it back on time, and would certainly have been late otherwise. It was refreshing to find that level of consideration and kindness in the work place. It surprised me. I was a little ashamed of myself.

I'm not close to anyone at work. I don't socialize much and I keep to myself, read the paper at break, take my lunches in the quiet room. I work mostly with women and younger people, and I don't have much in common with them. I'm polite but not really personable, and there are a few people I avoid altogether. A woman who laughed at me when I was having difficulty. Another who got all huffy when I tried to ask her a question. I'm not mean to them; I just ignore them. I don't want trouble. I take my 60-90 phone calls and go home. I try to follow the rules and be polite to the customers. But it isn't an easy job. People get emotional over the garbage collection and problems with their bill or service, and they can make it nasty or personal. I try to speak in a calm tone of voice and say please and thank you, but sometimes that isn't enough. I've messed up a few times. The other day I checked the Metro database to check a boundary, and the database said it was another hauler. The caller insisted it was us, but I told him, I'm sorry, it's definitely someone else. It turned out the database was wrong, and I got a failing grade for the call, because I "should have used other resources." They didn't fire me, though, and no one stole my bike. So I guess I was lucky twice.

I don't know how lucky any of us will be in the coming months. Today was a good day though. I ate well, slept well and had some clean, dry socks to change into when I got home. I caught the train to the Gateway station and walked from there, had a big smoked turkey sandwich with swiss cheese. Marie came over for a few minutes, only a few minutes, because she and her kids are driving to Crescent City this weekend for her mother's birthday and some celebrations for recent birthdays. Grandbaby Brice is 3, Camden is two. Little kid birthdays are probably my favorite of family celebrations. They are unfailingly joyous and a true miracle, the deepest of blessings.

Marie lent me back the Vista Cruiser for the next few days. They rented a van for the trip, so the whole crew could fit in one vehicle. I'll visit the fine young man and Doug; I can't afford a trip to Selah, although Ethan is crawling now and I want to see them all. Maybe tonight or tomorrow I'll win some money. Lord knows I'm due. I'm up only $11 for the month so far. I'm making correct decisions for the most part, but the outcomes haven't been favorable. A leading poker writer named Steve Badger says, "income from poker is not made in a linear way" and I've always found that to be true. You go along a few units up or a few units down, and then a day comes along where the decisions are easier and the opportunities flow. Our country could use a day like that.