Saturday, August 23, 2008

A Dot-dot-dot Morning...

....No time to explain, let me sum up...Nate Costa, the Ducks' starting quarterback, tweaked his knee near the end of Thursday's practice. It has diminished my appetitite for everything, including sex and chocolate, but I would not refuse a visit from The Girl in the Red Dress. The MRI results come back Monday, but all the murmurs are subdued....I celebrated payday last night with a good workout and a visit to the teriyaki restaurant....lost 5.50 playing poker, played in two tournaments and busted out in both, losing with pocket queens all in before the flop versus pocket eights (he rivered a one-card running straight draw) in the first and then in the second, short-stacked 80 left before the money, I had to move in with pocket fours. (Sooner or later, you have to take a stand). The small blind called me down with a suited king-jack, a mediocre hand to call for half your stack, but he turned a zzxx%!&! jack and I was busted and disgusted. Nothing I could do, unless I was the Amazing Kreskin or could go back in time...Went to bed early; I was tired and it clearly wasn't my night, and The Girl in the Red Dress wasn't going to call...It turns out there's a bank just a block up the street from my house, the Riverview Community Bank, with personal service and a small-town attitude, in business here in the Portland area since 1923. When I get my poker check on Wednesday I'm going to stop by and visit. Their website says they'll make it easy to switch with their customized "switch kit." It will give me great pleasure to fire my bank. I may even print out a pink slip...Doug called me this morning. Gretchen and Victoria are busy with girl things like school shopping and his son Tucker borrowed his car, so he is stranded at home. I'm going to throw the bike into the back seat of the Vista Cruiser and we're going for a ride and a lunch. I'll shower at the gym in Wilsonville, poke my head in the door to say hi to Roger and head out to Mo-lalla to tend bar for the Cowboy party...It will be a grand but busy day...I hope Costa has his knee on ice, and the other Ducks are buckling their chinstraps. The season opens in a week...May God give you blessings today, and may you be awake enough to receive them with thankfulness....
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2 comments:

Gretchen said...

Actually we weren't doing "girl" things but "family" things Doug doesn't want to participae in, I want to make that perfectly clear! First off was a doctor and physical therapy this morning for Victoria with the new doctor we found that uses the same tape and proceudres being done at the Olympics. I don't you watch much but if you have seen any of the tape on the beach volleyball player it's the tape being used by her. Next we were off to soccer where Victoria practiced while the parents had a meeting to meet the coaches and player's parents. Many dads were there. After practice it was a lunch with the football team and parents from both sports. Doug doesn't believe in team bonding let alone team parent bonding. The bonding and burgers were both great Doug missed it all. Next up is chaparoning the youth group to the City Fest. Again Doug was included if he wanted, he chose not to I did ask him to come with us. He doesn't like teenagers, crowds or loud muic all of which will be in abundance for the rest of the day. I do more and more things by myself or with the kids minus Doug all the time, I hate it but mostly I accept it and move on. More and more Doug says to me "I don't want to go but feel free to go if you want". Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, often I don't even ask Doug because I don't feel as rejected that way. I guess this sounds pretty harsh but today is a perfect example of how Doug could have spent the entire day with his wife and kids if he wanted to. Sometimes it just hurts more than others. Often it's just easier to assume he's not paticipating and make plans without him.

August 23, 2008 at 1:13 PM
Dale Bliss said...

Gretchen,

You sound frustrated. And appreciate your honesty. But this sounds like something you and Doug ought to talk about. You shouldn't be calling him out on the blog.

I am obviously no expert on marriage. I have four ex-wives to prove it. But the problem is you are an extreme extrovert married to an extreme introvert. You were a cheerleader and sang in the high school musical. Doug was a football lineman and sat in the back of the class and cracked jokes with Steve Wegner and Mike Cameron. You love meeting people and being involved. Doug hates meeting people and being involved. In that area, your life together will always be a series of uneasy compromises and digging in of the heels.

Your only hope, as I see it, of getting Doug to do more is to choose things he likes to do or feels open to. And once in a while, Doug has to get out of his comfort zone because he loves you.

The worst thing you can do is stew about this and keep him in the doghouse. That only creates more distance and isolation. Stubbornness gets people entrenched. Believe me, I should know.

The two of you have of the most successful marriages I am personally acquainted with, although several of my siblings have achieved long and happy marriages, in spite of our troubled upbringing (where did I go wrong?). It makes me sad to hear the two of you are having a squabble.

Take care, and thanks for writing and commenting. I don''t think I'm going to make it to the church barbeque today--it's just too far to go and I got up and started my laundry and household chores. b Plus I'm feeling kind of introverted.

You know, I told Doug one time something that bothers me a little: I've never had a conversation with Len where I didn't like he was judging me, sizing me up. I feel really uncomfortable talking to him. I may be way off base saying that, and I know he is a wonderful man and a good leader and a very good teacher from the pulpit, but he and I have just never hit it off.

Dale

August 24, 2008 at 9:56 AM

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This is the Way the Transformation Begins


"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw, Robert F. Kennedy


This is the way the transformation begins.
It begins in me.
It begins now.
It begins with small incremental changes and shifts in attitude
it begins with positive action
failing forward
and suddenly I start looking at the world and my place in it in a new way. I speak differently and dress differently and project a different energy, and the world opens up like a glorious pink azalea bush, eight feet tall and blooming like mad.


photo by Kajo123 from the website flickr.com

Good morning!

An engineer builds a bridge and every bolt and weld has to be exactly right; every measure has to be perfect, or the bridge collapses or fails to take its place. Fantastically detailed blueprints have to be laid out. Impact statements have to be filed, sediment has to be studied, years of effort, months of planning, and a man-made marvel rises in the sky. Park somewhere and take a good look at a bridge, and think of all the skill and knowledge and hard honest work it took to create it. Consider how a few thousand years ago we were living in caves.

It is not so with a dream. Some people are remarkable dreamers and dreams spring whole from them, or they can leap up from bed and pages of creative genius flow out of their pen, intricate and perfect. Most of us though are baby dreamers, new at it and tentative to the trust the power of what we wish for.

Start the dream! Whether you want to go to nursing school or college or learn to play the guitar, take a first step, now, even in the wrong direction. Don't wait for the blueprint to come to you, the environmental impact statement, the permits and the 200-page budget and legislative dream approval. Rough it out, sketch it on a napkin, tell a friend, and take action. Your dream begins the moment you step out in first moment of believing, and the result can touch a thousand souls. Listen to Jim Valvano: never give up, never surrender. Believe in the audacity of action and your fantastic potential for change and new opportunity.

The Hawthorne Bridge at sunrise, Portland Oregon. Photo by Joe Collver, from flickr.com
Genuine happiness and success start with an attitude of abundance

Make it a daily practice to begin your day with five minutes of thankfulness. You can even do it in your car on the way to work. Do it in your own way, whether it's thoughtful reflection or a prayer or singing out loud, but focus on your rich, amazing, abundant life.

Feeling grumpy or resentful or worried instead of thankful? Change direction! Consider the incredible gifts you have--mind, body, spirit, senses, your family, your friends, your clothes, your car, and the breakfast you enjoyed this morning. By the standards of 99% of the world, Americans are incredibly, amazingly rich. You truly have no idea how richly blessed you are until you start thinking about it. Even the heart that beats within you and the lungs that breathe your air are an intricate and amazing miracle.

Some of my favorite movies are ones that feature a once-defeated character waking up to an absolutely new day: "It's A Wonderful Life," the various versions of Dicken's "Christmas Carol" and "Groundhog Day." How exhilarating it is for George Bailey to wake up and realize his life isn't over, it's just beginning, and that today truly is a brand new day.


"It's a Wonderful Life"

"It's a Wonderful Life"
George returns home to everything he ever wanted.