Note: The blog has never shied away from the truth, or at least as much of the truth as I knew and understood at any given moment. I received two very pointed and insightful emails today, the first from my daughter Stephanie and the second from my friend Gretchen. I am printing them whole and unedited, because that's what we do here. We tell the story, even when it is a little messy. I'll post my reply after the poker game breaks up.
Stephanie has left a new comment on your post "Messages in a Cyber Bottle":
Dad--
This may sound bad and I hope you don't take it the wrong way but you and Marie remind me a little of Ross and Rachel from Friends. I don't know if you ever watched the show but there was a time when they took "a break" and Ross had a one night stand. The next morning Rachel came to Ross and said she wanted to get back together (I realize of course that your and Marie's break has been longer than one night but bare with me here). Anyway, they got back together but Rachel later found out about the Ross' big night and they broke up again. He claimed it was ok because they were "on a break", but she said on a break implied that they were still working on things and therefore he shouldn't have been free to see other people. I think that if you and Marie never discussed seeing other people she would be VERY wrong for doing so. You are under the assumption that you are working on things and by all accounts you are trying very hard at it. I think that if she was seeing someone else, even if it's not serious, she should be adult enough to tell you (even if T-mobile drops the call there are other means of communicating) and stop leading you on. If she is moving on with her life, she should allow you to do the same and not keep your hopes up and drag you along. Anyway just my thoughts, I hope I didn't sound as harsh as I think I did.
Me
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Gretchen has left a new comment on your post "Messages in a Cyber Bottle":
As I have read your blog you repeatly mention the dropped calls with T-mobile and it seems it is always at very crucial times in conversations with Marie. I know that all cell services have some dropped calls but you seem to have many. A few weeks ago I was having trouble with a higher than normal number of dropped calls (I am also with T-mobile) over a couple of days. I stopped by a T-mobile store they replaced my SIM card, problem solved. I am back to just the occasional dropped call. I thought maybe the problem was worse when you were staying at your sister's because of their location. I can't but help wonder if Marie is actually ending some calls and letting you think they are dropped. Just a thought. I don't want you to hurt more than you already do but you have to think about it.
It is probably better if you don't post this comment because I certainly don't want to offend Marie or make things worse for you with my comments.
I pray that if you and Marie are meant to be together it will happen.
I think is simply time to show up at her door with flowers and suitcase in hand and ask if you can come home. I know you keep saying it is very complicated and you have many unresolved issues but enough is enough. Simply ask if you can come home to her and work on your issues together while living together as husband and wife.
Gretchen
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
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This is the Way the Transformation Begins
"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw, Robert F. Kennedy
This is the way the transformation begins.
It begins in me.
It begins now.
It begins with small incremental changes and shifts in attitude
it begins with positive action
failing forward
and suddenly I start looking at the world and my place in it in a new way. I speak differently and dress differently and project a different energy, and the world opens up like a glorious pink azalea bush, eight feet tall and blooming like mad.
photo by Kajo123 from the website flickr.com
Good morning!
An engineer builds a bridge and every bolt and weld has to be exactly right; every measure has to be perfect, or the bridge collapses or fails to take its place. Fantastically detailed blueprints have to be laid out. Impact statements have to be filed, sediment has to be studied, years of effort, months of planning, and a man-made marvel rises in the sky. Park somewhere and take a good look at a bridge, and think of all the skill and knowledge and hard honest work it took to create it. Consider how a few thousand years ago we were living in caves.
It is not so with a dream. Some people are remarkable dreamers and dreams spring whole from them, or they can leap up from bed and pages of creative genius flow out of their pen, intricate and perfect. Most of us though are baby dreamers, new at it and tentative to the trust the power of what we wish for.
Start the dream! Whether you want to go to nursing school or college or learn to play the guitar, take a first step, now, even in the wrong direction. Don't wait for the blueprint to come to you, the environmental impact statement, the permits and the 200-page budget and legislative dream approval. Rough it out, sketch it on a napkin, tell a friend, and take action. Your dream begins the moment you step out in first moment of believing, and the result can touch a thousand souls. Listen to Jim Valvano: never give up, never surrender. Believe in the audacity of action and your fantastic potential for change and new opportunity.
It is not so with a dream. Some people are remarkable dreamers and dreams spring whole from them, or they can leap up from bed and pages of creative genius flow out of their pen, intricate and perfect. Most of us though are baby dreamers, new at it and tentative to the trust the power of what we wish for.
Start the dream! Whether you want to go to nursing school or college or learn to play the guitar, take a first step, now, even in the wrong direction. Don't wait for the blueprint to come to you, the environmental impact statement, the permits and the 200-page budget and legislative dream approval. Rough it out, sketch it on a napkin, tell a friend, and take action. Your dream begins the moment you step out in first moment of believing, and the result can touch a thousand souls. Listen to Jim Valvano: never give up, never surrender. Believe in the audacity of action and your fantastic potential for change and new opportunity.
The Hawthorne Bridge at sunrise, Portland Oregon. Photo by Joe Collver, from flickr.com
Genuine happiness and success start with an attitude of abundance
Make it a daily practice to begin your day with five minutes of thankfulness. You can even do it in your car on the way to work. Do it in your own way, whether it's thoughtful reflection or a prayer or singing out loud, but focus on your rich, amazing, abundant life.
Feeling grumpy or resentful or worried instead of thankful? Change direction! Consider the incredible gifts you have--mind, body, spirit, senses, your family, your friends, your clothes, your car, and the breakfast you enjoyed this morning. By the standards of 99% of the world, Americans are incredibly, amazingly rich. You truly have no idea how richly blessed you are until you start thinking about it. Even the heart that beats within you and the lungs that breathe your air are an intricate and amazing miracle.
Some of my favorite movies are ones that feature a once-defeated character waking up to an absolutely new day: "It's A Wonderful Life," the various versions of Dicken's "Christmas Carol" and "Groundhog Day." How exhilarating it is for George Bailey to wake up and realize his life isn't over, it's just beginning, and that today truly is a brand new day.
"It's a Wonderful Life"
George returns home to everything he ever wanted.
1 comment:
Marie surely will dislike me now!
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